Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee

I MET OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN LAST NIGHT!!! Yes, you read correctly. I went to her concert with some of my neighbors and we got to go backstage. I was supposed to babysit for Natalie and Tracy so they could go to the concert, but Tracy didn't feel up to going and asked if I would like to and she would babysit Cassie. Of course I wanted to go. Grease is my favorite movie ever!!! It was a great concert and she sounded beautiful. Natalie and I had a great time singing lots of songs from the past. I had forgotten how many country songs ONJ did way back when....but I remembered all of her songs except some of the new ones. Once the concert was over, one of the ladies that was with us, Becky, starts passing out these pink stickers with "Special Guest" on them. Her brother is one of the backup vocals for ONJ and also does some duets with her during the concert. We were going backstage to meet the band and maybe Olivia herself!!! We weren't sure if it would happen, but it did. After being backstage and meeting most of her band members, in walks Sandra Dee in person!! I couldn't believe it...she was really in the same room that I was. I was really shocked at how petite she was and also how soft spoken and quiet she was. On stage she looked so much taller and was really funny and cracking jokes, I just expected her to walk in and do the same, I guess. We met her, got our picture with her and spoke to her for a few minutes. She really seems like such a nice person (all her bands members that we talked to couldn't stop praising her and saying what a wonderful person she really is). She made her rounds to everyone in the room and my heart kind of went out to her for some reason. I almost felt sorry for her. It was just weird that here is this woman who just sang and danced for almost 2 hours and was now walking into a room filled with only a few people that she knew, signing her name over and over and letting total strangers take her picture. I just saw a small glimpse of what it must be like to be a celebrity and my heart went out to her. Sounds strange, I know. But that's how I felt. I always wondered what I would do if I met someone really famous (she is the first). Would I make a blubbering idiot of myself or would I be star struck and not be able to speak. I did neither...I was able to talk to her and compose myself like a normal person. Amazing!!! It really was the coolest night meeting someone that I have always admired. She will forever be Sandy to me, but she really is so much more! I'm a fan for life!!!

I'll post pictures once I get them from my neighbors. Until next time....

A Little Nurse in the Making

Yes, I think Cassie is going to follow in her AMA's footsteps and be a nurse. I've been sick since Saturday and yesterday was my worst day. I was all stopped up and aching all over, but I had my little 4 year old here to take care of me. She was very patient with me wanting to just lie around and do nothing all day. At one point, I was in bed and she had been watching tv, then she walks in my room with a bed tray announcing that she made me lunch. She brought over the tray and it had a cup with milk and a straw and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a plate. I almost started crying. It was just the sweetest thing she has ever done. She kept kissing me on my head and telling me she was going to take care of me. What a little nurse. Scott asked me what the kitchen looked like after she got done. Believe it or not, everything was put away and the knife was even in the sink!!!! What a doll she can be.

Until next time....

Just another day

I feel better as I'm doing this post tonight. I'm actually not doing it to rid my thoughts from this on-going tape recorder that I have in my brain. Just trying to stay up with it more. I really love going back and reading my thoughts. I keep telling myself this site is for me to reflect on, so maybe I can stay more consistent with that thinking.

Cassie was a sweetheart today. It's amazing how good she is doing just staying home with mom. She quit school a couple of weeks ago. She begged and begged to not go anymore. I really think she didn't care for her teacher, but she didn't come out and say that. I thought we would get tired of each other very quickly, but we haven't! :) She has been great and I've been pretty good about giving her attention. She is growing up so quickly just as the others are. Her and Marissa had a great day today. Marissa was quite the sweetheart, as well. They played together, although a little rowdy, there were getting along. Even when we went out to eat, they sat together and happily annoyed each other. Dylan didn't make it for basketball. He had try outs this morning and didn't make the second cut. I could tell it upset him, but he wasn't going to let me know that. There is still always baseball and football. He no longer does band, but he did get in an art class and it's amazing what he's come home with. I knew he had talent, but he's really impressed me and Scott. I'll have to scan one of the pictures and post it. He didn't get that talent from me, that's for sure!

Anyway, I'm off to do some of my Beth Moore study. I'm a little behind and want to catch up before Friday. Until next time.....

Retirement and Disfunctional Families

Today was a very interesting day to say the least. It started out great, the weather was warm, we were going to a party, the house is clean, Cassie was cooperating about things (except for the NEED to wear her tap shoes). Things were good. We left to pick up Dylan and Marissa at school to attend mom's retirement party at TI. She has been there on and off for over 30 years and now she gets to retire and start another chapter in her life. Very exciting! It was great to meet so many people who love and respect her. Everyone she knows at work has heard about her planning on going to Greece once she retires. So along with a bunch of other nice gifts, she received over $1000 in spending money just for her trip. How cool is that! She had a great day....heck she has had a great couple of months of going out to lunches and dinners with people who just want to spend a little more time with her before she is no longer a TIer. I think that is really awesome and I can't wait to get to spend more time with her in this next chapter!

Then we're off to get Dylan to his football game and Marissa back to her dad's house. Tuesday's are his night and I was getting her back so she could go trick or treating. Unfortunately, there was a misunderstanding about where to meet her step-mom. I was sitting in front of their house waiting for her and she was sitting at a store just up the street waiting for me. Then her and her 2 teenage daughters pull in the driveway and out comes one of them yelling at me. Telling me that I need to do what I say I'm going to do and how someone needs to finally stand up to me. Proceeded to call me stupid several times and also told me to shut up repeatedly. Now, this is all coming from a 16 year old girl and I'll admit I did not hold my tongue. During this time her mother is yelling at her to go inside and Marissa is sitting in my back seat crying and telling me that she doesn't want to leave and that she wants to stay with me. So I rolled up my window, took off my seatbelt, hugged and kissed her....and the hardest part of all, sent her off with her step-mom and step-sisters. But not before her 13 year old step sister came out and started yelling at me as well. How horrible of a mom am I?? I wanted so bad to just say to them that I would come back with Marissa when things were calm and Dan was home. But instead, I leave her there where she doesn't feel protected. Why??? Am I so scared of rocking the boat and causing confrontation that I won't look out for my child's best interest? I can honestly say that an incident like this will not happen again. No matter what our divorce decree says, if I don't feel comfortable about something or one of my kids doesn't, I will go with my gut and do what is right by them, not what is right by those stupid papers!! But at what expense did I learn this? What feelings did I impose onto Marissa by doing that to her? What is she going to tell herself later on about that situation? It won't happen again and I'm letting my ex-husband know that it won't. Because I'm sure there will be a next time. I cannot wimp out anymore when it comes to them. They deserve better than that from me.

I'm sure I'll be posting more on this subject very soon. Until then.....

Been a Long Time, Been a Long Time.....

Name that band....

Yes, it's been 2 weeks and I haven't published anything. As usual, lots going on in my world. All good (well mostly, but we won't get into any of that in this blog). Kids are well into the swing of things with school and so am I. It's nice having a couple of days a week that all three are away for the day. Justin is usually sleeping or doing his own thing. I get to shop or clean or go get my nails done or just whatever the heck I want to do. But my life these days has really become all about football and hunting. Dylan has started his games, so every morning he has practice at 7:15 and every Tuesday we are watching him play (brings back memories of Justin - played from 3rd grade to 11th grade). Marissa is cheering and they had so many boys sign up that they have 2 teams. For some reason, the cheer league mandates that they attend both games. So on Saturdays, we attend 2, yes 2, 5th grade football games. Crazy!!! The hunting part...if you read Scott's blog, you know exactly what that is about. He talks about it, he watches the hunting station on T.V., he prints stuff from the web....he has the bug BAD. He likes it better than golf. We currently have about 6-7 dove breast sitting in our freezer. I think we are going to my cousins this Sunday so he can build on that. One of these days we might even cook and eat them. I said in the beginning that I would not try them. But after talking to several people, I might have to try a little bite. I'll let you know what I think.

Other things going on.....I'm currently doing 3 bible studies (soon to be 4 if our WISDOM group picks one). I'm really going to have to manage my time right to pull this off. Scott and I have our couples group that we do every other Saturday. I've started attending a support group every Sunday night and that bible study is a 6 month one...whew!! Also, our study for Jr. High that I have every Wednesday. WOW, do you think I've bitten off more than I can chew? I sure hope not because I love each of them and hopefully I'm going to gain tremedous growth from them. I'll let you know about that in a couple of months!

Until next time....

Feeling a Little Defeated

Last night was our first night back at the Merge (Jr. High Ministry) with our new 6th graders. All the other girls that I got to know and love have moved up to 7th grade and I got to meet the new group. What an experience that was! First of all, we had about 15-17 girls and that itself was crazy! We are going to split up next time into 2 groups, so I think that will help. Secondly, I just wasn't feeling it last night for some reason. Out of all these girls, I only knew one...Miss Emily Bickford, who is awesome! I allowed that to intimidate me and I felt pretty awkward at times during small group. Also, I think I focused way too much on the study itself and not enough on the girls and the topic last night, which was small groups. It just didn't go in the direction I wanted it too. I had my little outline and all my mental notes, but for some reason, it just went astray. At one point last night when I was calling on the girls, every story was about someone in their classroom being really short and how sorry they felt for them....don't ask me how we got on that. But once one girl talked about it, they all needed to share a short person story! I tried relating each story back to our topic or telling them something wise, but most of the time I ended up just looking at them and thinking "why are you talking about short people?" Very awkward!

Anyway, I came home last night feeling very defeated and was allowing way too much negativity to seep in. When I went to bed, it just kept replaying in my mind over and over again like a tape recorder and I couldn't shut it off. So I started praying for God to take it from me and allow me to focus on the positive. Eventually that tape recorder went off and I was able to sleep. This morning I felt much better about it and after talking to Scott about it, he gave me some really good suggestions, which I will hopefully put to good use next time. I'm just so out of my comfort zone with being a "leader" and trying to "teach" these girls something. A huge part of me questions my ability, but I need to let that go and focus on just developing a relationship with these new girls and relaying our study in an open and honest way that they will get. No more opening my study on Tuesday night for Wednesday Merge. I think they deserve more than that.

I know, I know....I made this all about me once again. But ultimately my focus is these girls and relating to them and also learning from them. Then by the grace of God we will all gain something from this!

Until next time....

New Beginnings

Once again, lots of things going on in the Lessard household. School started last week for Scott again, so we are getting back into routine of missing him a couple of nights a week. I used to have a lot of resentment that he made this choice to go back. But we have worked that out and I hope that I can be a huge support to him while he is a student for the next few years.

Cassie started pre-school yesterday at a local church. She loved it and can't wait to go again tomorrow. She will go 2 days a week and she is most excited about having computer lab and Spanish. She is very into learning Spanish right now and can say a couple of words from watching Dora. It will be exciting to watch her learn!

I started working out yesterday. I have to make it public so people can ask me about it! We have a membership at the Rowlett Community Center and I have never used it. So yesterday was my first day of trying to make this a lifelong commitment. I plan to start out going while Cassie is in school and then after I get myself in the habit, increasing that. I have to take baby steps with this because it is something that I do not enjoy doing, but know that it is very needed. So say a prayer for me that I stick with it. I did feel really good afterwards yesterday, but not during.

Also, Justin has already moved back home. He moved to Austin not even 3 weeks ago. I got a phone call Saturday night from him wanting to know if he was allowed to come back. So he is back and trying to figure out what to do with himself. He already got his old job back at Pizza Hut, but he needs more. His girlfriend and him decided they were too young to be living together and to be so serious. She is still in Austin and attending college there. I would love to see him get really serious about his music again, but only he can do that!

We had a new addition to my ladies small group, also. Michele Force had her baby....Maddox Reade Force. Very powerful name! He is just beautiful too! Congrats to the Forces - look forward to seeing him on Friday's.

On the note of small groups, I also received an invitation to join another ladies small group on Wednesday's. It is a group of great ladies and I think I would love to be a part of it. I have been praying about it and thinking about and wondering how I could do both of my groups plus a couples group that Scott and I are in. Well, at church Sunday, I think God answered my prayer. The new series is "Dirty Little Secrets" and this Sunday was on sexual abuse. It was really moving and powerful to me. There is a lady in our church that spoke about her past a little and she is starting a new support group. I really feel that I should be a part of this. Thank God I have dealt with my past through counseling and have a sense of resolution around it. But I feel a very strong urge that I should be a support for others in this area. Isn't that what it's all about? Being able to be there for others.

Like I said, a lot going on in the Lessard household. But that is nothing new. Until next time....

Someone Pinch Me

It's truly amazing to me that I have a son that is living out on his own in another city. This past Thursday, Justin moved to Austin with his girlfriend Hayley. She decided she wanted to go to school there and he followed. He is not planning on attending school this semester, but says he plans on it in January. They have a very cute, little apartment right smack in the middle of downtown Austin. It is a cool location. He got a job at Pizza Hut the day he moved there, working full time with benefits and everything. Even got a raise from what he was making at Pizza Hut in Rockwall. And they will help pay for part of his college. Sounds like a company he should stick with through school.

Scott and I really did hate to see them move in together for so many different reasons. We love him and are here for him, but don't agree with several of the decisions being made. It's a hard spot to be in as a parent. Especially a parent who has made some of the same mistakes. Justin knows how I feel and it would be senseless to continue to preach to him about it. So we've decided to try and help him be smart about his choices. Whatever that may be...money, school, living together, etc. The quickest way to push him out of our lives, would be to continually tell him what he is doing wrong. So focus on the positive and help him to make adult decisions when he comes to us. But what about all the emotions that Mom is going through....guilt, sadness, happiness, regret, excitement. I could go on and on. I really am proud of him. He has grown up a lot in the last year and I think this experience can be one of more learning and growing up, for all of us!!!

Until next time....

I Survived My First Night

I started volunteering for the Merge (Jr. High ministry) at church a few months ago and have been really enjoying it a lot. Last night was my first night to have the 6th grade girls with me preparing the study (from Jay's lesson). I've filled in before and used their notes and preparations for small group. But last night, it was Megan and me. She is my teen leader for our group. She is really awesome and I think we are going to make a great team for the new 6th grade girls!

I was so nervous about my notes and what my take was on our study. I kept second guessing myself. I even thought about having Scott or Jay read over my outline. But I talked myself out of it and just kept praying that God would give me the right words to say to these girls. I just kept doubting myself and each time I did, I would just lift it up to God. I have to say it went great last night!!! We only had a few girls, so it was pretty intimate and all the girls felt like sharing. It was awesome. I didn't feel like an idiot and I don't think I made a complete fool of myself. Jay even said several things that I had in my notes (confirmation for me). Yes, I know, I'm making this about me and it's not about me. It's about the girls and helping them see their way as young Christians and being here for them. But I have to be honest, I think I'm going to gain as much, if not more, than these girls are from being a part of this ministry. I've done lots of volunteering for different areas in the church. But nothing ever got me excited like this. I don't ever dread going to any events or our Wednesday nights. I really look forward to seeing everyone and getting to listen to Jay. He is great with the kids. I feel really good about serving in this area and I know God has something in mind for me. That is the first time I think I can honestly say that about anywhere I've served before in church!

I also feel really blessed because Dylan doesn't mind me being a part of it. I probably would not have signed up if he wasn't comfortable with me being there. How nice it is that my 12 year old son doesn't mind me hanging around. Now, when Marissa is in 6th grade, it might be a different story. But I have another year before that happens.

Until next time.....

Just For My Baby

More NY Pics

New York New York

Here are a few pics from our vacation. Enjoy!

Home Sweet Home

Back home again after a week in NYC! What a blast we had with the kids and Scott's NY family. The kids repeatedly thanked us and said this was the best vacation ever. We did have a lot of fun and we didn't stop for a minute. I'll post some pictures once Scott gets them on the computer and I'm sure he'll post some as well.

I think my highlight for the week was seeing "Beauty and the Beast" on Broadway. I'm ready to hit another play as soon as possible. Scott and I are already talking about going up one weekend and seeing another one w/out kids!! Can't wait. It was a great experience and was just beautiful!! The kids really enjoyed it a lot. Scott and Justin let the tears flow, it was so beautiful! The Bronx zoo was really great, too. They have a new gorilla exhibit and it was so cool to watch them in action. We literally stood and watched a baby and her mama for over 30 minutes. It's almost creepy to see how much they are like us, some more than others!!!

We hit the beach one day, went to a Mets game, had a couple of family get togethers, walked around Manhattan and went to New Jersey to Six Flags. I'm telling ya, we didn't stop for much!!! It feels really good to be home again, though. I had a blast and I love catching up with our NY family and getting re-acquainted. But there ain't nothing like coming home and sleeping in your own bed!

Well, that's it for now. I'll post some pics later....until next time....

Not All Fun and Games

What a night at church. I help serve on the junior high ministry at our church and we meet on Wednesday's. Normally this is a night of music, laughing, learning, laughing, acting goofy, laughing.....well you get the idea. But last night was different. Jay announced that we lost a member of our junior high group to a tragic car accident in West Texas, along with his mother, grandmother and cousin. Some were already aware of this, but several were not. What a shock it was to hear that someone so young and so close in our community had lost his life before it really even began. I help with the 6th grade girls and during our small group time, it was very emotional. The girls had questions of "Why?" and "How could God allow something like this to happen?". It was a difficult thing to see them hurting and to realize the hurt and pain this young man's family was going through. We tried to impress upon the kids how important it is to live your life as if it were the last. Also, how God didn't cause this wreck to happen. And if we allow it, that something amazing can come of this terrible thing. No, that won't replace Aaron and the friendship that he gave, but it can help you heal and help keep his memory alive. Who knows what God will create out of such loss? I certainly do not, but I do know that God will provide the comfort we need in times like this.

One of my favorite passages: Proverb 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.


Until next time.....

Feelings of Thankfulness

Today I realized how grateful I am to God for giving me the life that he did. For some reason I started thinking about how lucky and fortunate I am where I'm at. I've always been very thankful to God, but it hit me extra hard today (not sure exactly why). I have not had to easiest life, just like a million others out there. I've dealt with my share of hardships...some brought on myself and others out of my control. But it overwhelmed me today and I started praying and giving thanks to God for always being there for me even when I was not willing to walk with Him. I realized how fortunate I was to have the past that I do and be here today with a family who loves me, a church who changed my life and friends like I've never had before!

What grace I have been given!! Thank you, God!

No Husbands, No Kids...No Sleep

What a weekend! It was so much fun to get together with my small group ladies for the weekend without any interruptions. We stayed at the Embassy Suites Park Central and had a great time! I had no idea I could go a weekend without sleep, though.

We started out meeting at the hotel and then Bennigan's for dinner. I finally got to try their monte cristo sandwiches....it was incredible (it was also 2 meals). Then back to the hotel for more food, talking and laughing. Three out of the five of us lasted until 3 a.m. then decided to call it a night. Up at 9:00 for free breakfast and then more discussions sitting under the gazebo while eating omelets and hashbrowns. Back to the room for showers, more talking and more eating. Then finally around 4:00, we decided to have lunch at Freebirds. It was very good, but I recommend not getting the quesadillas...they are too messy. The burritos are all nice and rolled up with tin foil around them that you can later make into a sculpture and put on the wall. Then off to the mall to do some shopping. More laughs and more talking and then a nice smoothie. Then we ended up at Toys R Us looking for a game to play. Something that would make us reveal more "stuff" about us (like we needed a game to do that). We found one and it was greatness! It was so much fun to laugh uncontrollably until there were tears and to just look at each other and crack up for no reason. But there was plenty of reasons to laugh at any given time. Once again it was a late night...I passed out about 5:00 a.m. and there was still a couple up talking! By the next morning free breakfast meant nothing to me, so sleep it was for just a little bit longer while some of the others went down and ate omelets again. Now it's Sunday morning and time to pack up and say our goodbyes....NO, NOT YET. We still had stuff to talk about (if you can believe that) and there was still chocolate left to eat...just a few more hours?

All good things must come to an end, I suppose. It was great fun and I'm very fortunate that I have such a great group of friends. I'm also very fortunate that I have such a loving husband that doesn't mind and understands my need for my friends. Thanks, honey...couldn't have happened without your support!

Michele, Stacey, Carey, Jill and Shari....I love you guys and hope that we can always be so honest with each other and continue to have lots of laughs!!! Hey Stacey, I wound an itty bat!!!!

Until next time....

What to type...

As I sit here trying to think about what to blog, my mind wonders to so many different things. I think that is why I don't come to this site more often and put my thoughts down. I'm thinking "Where do I begin?....what do I type?....does anyone care?" But I love reading other blogs and random thoughts. I have them saved in my favorites and usually once a day I check them out and am disappointed if there are no new entries. I wish I knew more people with blog sites so I could check them out, too. Does that mean I'm a nosy person and have nothing better to do? Well, the first might certainly be true!

I guess I can start with another update since it's been so long. Things are going well from my surgery and I feel great!! Summer is in full swing and will be over before we know it. We still have our summer vacation coming up and I can't wait. The whole family (Justin's girlfriend included) is flying to NYC to visit Scott's family. We have so many fun things planned (check out Scott's blog and he'll give you blow by blow details) and they are all new things that we haven't done there before. I have to say thanks to Scott's aunt....she lives in NYC in a 2 bedroom house w/a basement and is letting all of us stay with her. Yes, it will be a little cramped and we will have to make a schedule for the bathroom, but I think it will be great. She is an awesome host and always spoils us when we come up! I'm sure Scott and I will have lots to post once we get back from there.

I have a small trip coming up this weekend with my WISDOM girlfriends. I only say small because we are staying at a hotel here in Dallas, but it is truly BIG to me! We had a great time last year and who would have thought we could go so long without eating!!! We were having so much fun talking without any interruptions that we talked until 4:00 in the afternoon and had not eaten anything except a few little munchies that we had in the room!! What a great group of friends....I look forward to whatever comes our way this weekend!

Other things going on....Justin is moving to Austin with his girlfriend in a month or so. Lots of emotions with that one. Dylan is trying a new sport in the fall, football. Marissa is still into her cheering and gymnastics. And last but not least, Cassie is having fun this summer playing with friends and going to F.R.O.G. camp at a local church. I'm really glad to be home again and be able to be more involved in their lives!

Well, that's it for me today. Until next time.....

Long Time No Post

It seems like it has been forever since I signed in and typed my random thoughts. So much as happened since the last post in March. Where to begin....

Well, to start with, I'm no longer working. I gave my 5 week notice (yes, 5 weeks) and now I'm a stay at home mom again. My last day of work was May 18. Unfortunately, not much as been done since then because on May 23, I had surgery (hysterectomy) and I've been recovering from that. My doctor actually recommended this over a year ago and I just was not ready for it for many reasons. Once we decided this was the right option for me, there were more fears and worries. I was nervous about the anesthesia. I've had surgeries in the past, but for some reason, I just had this weird fear that this time that I wasn't going to wake up. But as Scott pointed out, what better way to go? I was also nervous about the effects of not having a uterus or ovaries anymore and being on hormones. Some of that anxiety is gone, but I still have some fears around doing the hormones for the next several years. My doctor gave me a script when I left the hospital to start taking immediately, but they did not agree with me and so I had to stop taking them and when I go in for my 3 week post-op appointment next week, we'll discuss some different hormones to take. Other fears were how this would affect my emotions, would the PMS feelings that I had every month end, or has that just become a part of who I am now? Would this affect my relations with my husband? Would I be able to feel the same with him that I did before? Would I feel less of a women because I can no longer have another life growing inside me? I really didn't have that last fear going into the surgery, but had heard that some women didn't either and then afterwards they did feel any emptiness about it. Fortunately, that last fear has not been a problem. I have four beautiful children that I carried inside me and I am perfectly content with that!

I guess there are fears and worries with all surgeries and with so many different things in life. We talked about this some during group last night and it was nice to share and hear other fears/worries and how others deal with them. As we discussed things last night, I realized that the closer my walk with God is, the less I lie awake in bed at night worrying. Coincidence? I don't think so. I know for me, the more I am able to give over to Him the less of a burden it is on me. That doesn't mean I never worry, by any means. Or that I no longer have fears. But I no longer lie in bed for an hour or more trying to fall asleep because of all the "things" going on inside. Here are some good bullet points from our book we are reading in group "God is in the Small Stuff, and it all matters":

• WORRY IS A CHOICE
• THE BEST WAY TO STOP WORRYING IS TO START PRAYING
• PRAYER CHANGES THINGS; WORRY CHANGES NOTHING
• INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN'T DO, THINK ABOUT WHAT GOD CAN DO FOR YOU

That's just a few that stood out to me. Anyway, I'm back home, recovering well and ready to have a wonderful summer with my family, not worrying about things!!

Until next time....

In Need of Some Free Christian Counseling?

We made it back to church this weekend after being out for a couple of weeks and let me tell you how great it felt!! It was so awesome to be back and see everyone and listen to the awesome music and hear Keith's wonderful sermon. This is going to be another amazing series. It's about anger and so much of it just hit home when I was listening to his words and really made me think about my life. Scott and I haven't talked about it yet, but I know it affected both of us immensely. Keith just spoke so many truth's and it was like sitting in a counseling session almost. He has a way of doing that in a lot of his sermons, though. Really making you look at yourself and examining the way your doing it and what Jesus says about it and His way of doing it. I realize so much of the time that there is not an allignment there for myself and some pastors make you feel like it's almost impossible and very unatainable.....not Keith. He makes it seem so possible and so real and so reachable and I love that about him and our church. There is not one person there on staff that I would look at and say "Oh, I could never talk to them, they just wouldn't understand". Because they are all so REAL. And to me, that is what church should be about. I'm so thankful that we have Springcreek Community Church in our lives and our children are being exposed to what I think all churches should be....REAL. I have no idea who reads this blog, but if you deal with some anger issues (or you just want to check out how amazing the sermons are) please check out their website and you can listen to Keith yourself...all it takes is a little bit of your time.

Thanks to everyone at Springcreek.....you guys are always in our prayers!!

What an Awesome City - Now Back to Reality

We made it back from San Francisco and what a great weekend. Too short, but still great. I'm not much of a traveler and have not been to many places. So it really is incredible to experience something that is so different than Texas. And San Fran is definitely that! We had good weather Saturday (it was supposed to be rainy all day) and we walked and walked and walked the streets. We did a lot of driving too. We went over the Golden Gate Bridge and then drove into Salsalito....what a cool little town. Scott was so sweet, we went in shop after shop looking around. I know that is not his thing to do, but he did it anyway. What a guy! I think my favorite part of the weekend was dinner Saturday. We went somewhere that Scott's boss recommended, The Northern Beach Restaurant. It was Italian and wonderful. I've had Italian in New York and in San Francisco and it is quite different from Texas. Probably more authentic. We had a great time, laughing until we we're crying (at my expense, but hey, it was pretty funny....something to do with taxi's). Maybe the glasses of wine had something to do with it, too.

I think I'm ready to experience some more of the world. I'm tired of letting my fears get in the way of things! That fear being "flying". But the older I get, the less anxious I am about it. So maybe I will end up in Paris or Italy one of these days after all.

Ciao - until next time!

Stressed spelled backwards...

You got it, MEXICAN FOOD!! Not what you expected, huh? Well, desserts are not my thing and when I feel stressed, I want good 'ol comfort food. So that is exactly what I'm having for lunch today. What a day it's been so far and it's not even lunch time yet. Our office manager is in Japan for the next 2 weeks and I'm working full time while she is out. Needless to say, I'm doing lots of stuff that I've never done before, like travel for our employees and contractors. You say not a big deal, but I beg to differ with you. It is a full time job alone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining....just trying to vent a little and then get back on course.

See that picture of the woman pulling her hair out? That is me, I had one of my co-workers take it a few minutes ago. Just kidding, that's really not me, but that is exactly what I feel like. Anyway, enough of the moaning and groaning. Who am I to complain, I'll be on a plane to San Fran in a little over 24 hours. So I'll just continue to think about that while I'm on the phone dealing with flights for other people and booking hotels.

The enchiladas are calling my name.....how sweet they sound, too!!

From San Francisco to Bonham, all in a week

This is where I will be Friday evening and I can't wait!! I have only been to California once and that was only for about 30 hours, so needless to say I didn't' see much of nothing. Scott and I will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary a month early in San Francisco. It's not Paris, but I don't mind at all!! I would prefer the shorter flight, anyway. Those of you who know me, know I do not like to fly.....AT ALL!! The weather is supposed to be cold and rainy, but I'll take it. I'm not afraid of a little weather, I'm from Texas!

You would think that after not blogging for so long, that the words would just flow to my fingertips....but not so. I think I'm having a hard time getting in the grove of it after not doing it for so long. I also think that so much stuff is going on, that I just don't know where to begin sometimes. My life is always busy and crazy and exciting and full and anything else you can think to put in there. With the kids being so involved in different activities and us being so involved in church, it's hard to slow down sometimes. I told Scott the other day that I don't know when I'm going to be able to breath in the next 2 weeks. Much less do laundry, dishes, clean house and all that other fun stuff. It's all good, but just non-stop. I mentioned our trip to San Fran....the weekend after that, we are trying to plan a camping trip with the kids for spring break. We went to lake Bonham last Nov. with some friends and had such a blast, so we are thinking about going there again. Plus my aunt and uncle live there and Scott wants to take his new shotgun and do some skeet shooting. They have an awesome place up there....100 acres with 2 ponds. They used to have cattle on it, but have since moved them to their other property of 60 acres, where my late grandfather lived for years and years. It really is beautiful there and every time someone from Scott's family comes to Texas, they have to visit my aunt and uncle's farm. Because they think that is how we all live down here. Most everyone in my family does, except for me. I'm a city girl raised in a country family, that's for sure. Just ask me about my cousin calf roping me when I was about 9 years old!!!

On that note, I'll get back to my busy, crazy, hectic, wonderful, full, non-breathing life!

Roses Smoses

Yes, it's been a long time since my last post. Not having a computer at home is killing the whole bloggin experience. Our computer crashed a very long time ago and I will not let Scott format the hard drive without at least attempting to get all of my kids precious pics from it (no they were not backed up). We could have had our computer fixed the day after crashing, most likely. But I just can't allow it. Thus, the hard drive sits in our amoire awaiting to be examined by a professional and my random thoughts will be few and far between, on the blogsite anyway!

Back to the title....I'm guessing there are a few ladies out there that feel the way I do about Valentines Day. It really is not a big deal to me. Yes, I enjoy getting flowers and yes, I definately enjoy going out to eat and yes, I love jewelry and romantic gifts. But it just seems too fabricated to do this on Valentines Day. I would much rather my hubby send flowers to me on just any ol' day of the year when I'm not expecting them. Or wisk me off to dinner unexpectedly. As far as the jewelry goes.....Scott has covered that pretty well with all the jewels he has given me when he travels out of the country. We had a very nice romantic Valentine's this year....he was at school until 10:00 and I was at home watching American Idol (favorite show) and playing with Cassie. I baked chocolate chip cookies and ate left over mexican food from Blue Goose (favorite restaurant). At least I was up when he got home from school. So we did spend some quality time together talking and eating cookies and just enjoying each other's company. Can't wait until next Valentines Day! Love ya, honey!

Until next time....and who knows when that will be.

Three in a row....

Well, day #3 and I'm still blogging. We'll see how long it last. I wish I had a computer at home that worked, so I could actually sit and type real thoughts. Instead, I'm sneaking in a minute here and there at work.

But here we go....some real (random) thoughts:

Why is marriage so difficult sometimes, shouldn't it be easy with the one you love?
Why is it so difficult to get myself and family to communion once a month?
What would life be like without mexican food? (3 weeks ago, I would have said Dr. Pepper)
Who would have ever dreamed that I would be drinking water instead of DP...not me!

Speaking of DP....my habit is really like smoking. When I get stressed.....want a DP, when I'm excited.....want a DP, when I'm depressed.....want a DP. You name it, whatever mood I'm in, whatever kind of day I'm having, I WANT A DR. PEPPER. How insane is that? Are they really that addictive? The other morning, I was so stressed out with my 4 year old, I stopped and got a DP and a package of ding dongs and you would have thought I was a drug addict with a needle in my arm. They imediate relief and and the instant feeling of calmness came rushing over me....it was a great day! That is the only slip up I've had in a little over 3 weeks, so I'm pretty proud of myself. Now we have to figure out the whole food addiction thing and I think that will be a little harder. Would love to lose 20 pounds before my high school reunion, but doesn't everyone want to do that?

Enough rambling for the day, until next time......

This could be really addictive

I called my 18 year old son yesterday and told him that I signed up on blogger.com. He told me I should sign up for myspace instead. That it was much cooler. So I checked it out today while trying to get some work done and it's pretty cool if your a teen or if your single, but I signed up anyway. Reason being, that I found my 18 year old's myspace and couldn't send him anything w/out signing up and also found my nephews in NY and wanted to shock him and send him something as well. So I went from being totally out of touch to being pretty cool in a couple of days, if blogging and being on myspace makes you cool! I think it is going to take much more in my case, though. All that is left to do is add some pics of me and my wonderful family to both sites and I'm good to go......go where, I'm not really sure.

It is interesting to read other peoples thoughts....sometimes they are so random and sometimes they are really deep. Sometimes you just flat don't understand anything. But I love that I can go and listen to my son's music at any time.....he has them on his myspace and they are really good and I'm not just being mom. I love music and I love his music!

Until next time.....

I can't believe I have my own blog site

This is really silly for a almost 40 year to have a blog site....isn't it??? You tell me. I find myself reading others occasionally and it's really interesting. Like reading someone's diary, almost. But probably not quite so personal.

I really thought this would be great for my small group to start doing. We currently have journals that we share with each other. But this would be cool, as well. We could share our thoughts at any given time. My small group is WISDOM (women in search & discovery of more) and I just don't know where I would be today without each one of them. Thank you Carey, Shari, Michele and Stacey....I love you guys!!!!

Speaking of being old (back to my first sentence)....I received an email today about my 20th high school reunion this year. YIKES!!!!! 20 @*$&* years ago I graduated high school from South Garland. Doesn't seem possible. What have I done in 20 years......that is a loaded questions. I could write a book, let me tell ya! Career wise, I haven't done much of nothing and that is kind of sad to me. I still ask myself "What do I want to be when I grow up?" I don't have a flippin' clue. I think I better move on before I start getting depressed! :)

Well, I'm going to sign off and figure out how this whole blog thing works and let my WISDOM girls know about it and hopefully they will sign on, too.

Until next time......