Retirement and Disfunctional Families

Today was a very interesting day to say the least. It started out great, the weather was warm, we were going to a party, the house is clean, Cassie was cooperating about things (except for the NEED to wear her tap shoes). Things were good. We left to pick up Dylan and Marissa at school to attend mom's retirement party at TI. She has been there on and off for over 30 years and now she gets to retire and start another chapter in her life. Very exciting! It was great to meet so many people who love and respect her. Everyone she knows at work has heard about her planning on going to Greece once she retires. So along with a bunch of other nice gifts, she received over $1000 in spending money just for her trip. How cool is that! She had a great day....heck she has had a great couple of months of going out to lunches and dinners with people who just want to spend a little more time with her before she is no longer a TIer. I think that is really awesome and I can't wait to get to spend more time with her in this next chapter!

Then we're off to get Dylan to his football game and Marissa back to her dad's house. Tuesday's are his night and I was getting her back so she could go trick or treating. Unfortunately, there was a misunderstanding about where to meet her step-mom. I was sitting in front of their house waiting for her and she was sitting at a store just up the street waiting for me. Then her and her 2 teenage daughters pull in the driveway and out comes one of them yelling at me. Telling me that I need to do what I say I'm going to do and how someone needs to finally stand up to me. Proceeded to call me stupid several times and also told me to shut up repeatedly. Now, this is all coming from a 16 year old girl and I'll admit I did not hold my tongue. During this time her mother is yelling at her to go inside and Marissa is sitting in my back seat crying and telling me that she doesn't want to leave and that she wants to stay with me. So I rolled up my window, took off my seatbelt, hugged and kissed her....and the hardest part of all, sent her off with her step-mom and step-sisters. But not before her 13 year old step sister came out and started yelling at me as well. How horrible of a mom am I?? I wanted so bad to just say to them that I would come back with Marissa when things were calm and Dan was home. But instead, I leave her there where she doesn't feel protected. Why??? Am I so scared of rocking the boat and causing confrontation that I won't look out for my child's best interest? I can honestly say that an incident like this will not happen again. No matter what our divorce decree says, if I don't feel comfortable about something or one of my kids doesn't, I will go with my gut and do what is right by them, not what is right by those stupid papers!! But at what expense did I learn this? What feelings did I impose onto Marissa by doing that to her? What is she going to tell herself later on about that situation? It won't happen again and I'm letting my ex-husband know that it won't. Because I'm sure there will be a next time. I cannot wimp out anymore when it comes to them. They deserve better than that from me.

I'm sure I'll be posting more on this subject very soon. Until then.....