A Little Nurse in the Making

Yes, I think Cassie is going to follow in her AMA's footsteps and be a nurse. I've been sick since Saturday and yesterday was my worst day. I was all stopped up and aching all over, but I had my little 4 year old here to take care of me. She was very patient with me wanting to just lie around and do nothing all day. At one point, I was in bed and she had been watching tv, then she walks in my room with a bed tray announcing that she made me lunch. She brought over the tray and it had a cup with milk and a straw and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a plate. I almost started crying. It was just the sweetest thing she has ever done. She kept kissing me on my head and telling me she was going to take care of me. What a little nurse. Scott asked me what the kitchen looked like after she got done. Believe it or not, everything was put away and the knife was even in the sink!!!! What a doll she can be.

Until next time....

Just another day

I feel better as I'm doing this post tonight. I'm actually not doing it to rid my thoughts from this on-going tape recorder that I have in my brain. Just trying to stay up with it more. I really love going back and reading my thoughts. I keep telling myself this site is for me to reflect on, so maybe I can stay more consistent with that thinking.

Cassie was a sweetheart today. It's amazing how good she is doing just staying home with mom. She quit school a couple of weeks ago. She begged and begged to not go anymore. I really think she didn't care for her teacher, but she didn't come out and say that. I thought we would get tired of each other very quickly, but we haven't! :) She has been great and I've been pretty good about giving her attention. She is growing up so quickly just as the others are. Her and Marissa had a great day today. Marissa was quite the sweetheart, as well. They played together, although a little rowdy, there were getting along. Even when we went out to eat, they sat together and happily annoyed each other. Dylan didn't make it for basketball. He had try outs this morning and didn't make the second cut. I could tell it upset him, but he wasn't going to let me know that. There is still always baseball and football. He no longer does band, but he did get in an art class and it's amazing what he's come home with. I knew he had talent, but he's really impressed me and Scott. I'll have to scan one of the pictures and post it. He didn't get that talent from me, that's for sure!

Anyway, I'm off to do some of my Beth Moore study. I'm a little behind and want to catch up before Friday. Until next time.....

Retirement and Disfunctional Families

Today was a very interesting day to say the least. It started out great, the weather was warm, we were going to a party, the house is clean, Cassie was cooperating about things (except for the NEED to wear her tap shoes). Things were good. We left to pick up Dylan and Marissa at school to attend mom's retirement party at TI. She has been there on and off for over 30 years and now she gets to retire and start another chapter in her life. Very exciting! It was great to meet so many people who love and respect her. Everyone she knows at work has heard about her planning on going to Greece once she retires. So along with a bunch of other nice gifts, she received over $1000 in spending money just for her trip. How cool is that! She had a great day....heck she has had a great couple of months of going out to lunches and dinners with people who just want to spend a little more time with her before she is no longer a TIer. I think that is really awesome and I can't wait to get to spend more time with her in this next chapter!

Then we're off to get Dylan to his football game and Marissa back to her dad's house. Tuesday's are his night and I was getting her back so she could go trick or treating. Unfortunately, there was a misunderstanding about where to meet her step-mom. I was sitting in front of their house waiting for her and she was sitting at a store just up the street waiting for me. Then her and her 2 teenage daughters pull in the driveway and out comes one of them yelling at me. Telling me that I need to do what I say I'm going to do and how someone needs to finally stand up to me. Proceeded to call me stupid several times and also told me to shut up repeatedly. Now, this is all coming from a 16 year old girl and I'll admit I did not hold my tongue. During this time her mother is yelling at her to go inside and Marissa is sitting in my back seat crying and telling me that she doesn't want to leave and that she wants to stay with me. So I rolled up my window, took off my seatbelt, hugged and kissed her....and the hardest part of all, sent her off with her step-mom and step-sisters. But not before her 13 year old step sister came out and started yelling at me as well. How horrible of a mom am I?? I wanted so bad to just say to them that I would come back with Marissa when things were calm and Dan was home. But instead, I leave her there where she doesn't feel protected. Why??? Am I so scared of rocking the boat and causing confrontation that I won't look out for my child's best interest? I can honestly say that an incident like this will not happen again. No matter what our divorce decree says, if I don't feel comfortable about something or one of my kids doesn't, I will go with my gut and do what is right by them, not what is right by those stupid papers!! But at what expense did I learn this? What feelings did I impose onto Marissa by doing that to her? What is she going to tell herself later on about that situation? It won't happen again and I'm letting my ex-husband know that it won't. Because I'm sure there will be a next time. I cannot wimp out anymore when it comes to them. They deserve better than that from me.

I'm sure I'll be posting more on this subject very soon. Until then.....