Not All Fun and Games

What a night at church. I help serve on the junior high ministry at our church and we meet on Wednesday's. Normally this is a night of music, laughing, learning, laughing, acting goofy, laughing.....well you get the idea. But last night was different. Jay announced that we lost a member of our junior high group to a tragic car accident in West Texas, along with his mother, grandmother and cousin. Some were already aware of this, but several were not. What a shock it was to hear that someone so young and so close in our community had lost his life before it really even began. I help with the 6th grade girls and during our small group time, it was very emotional. The girls had questions of "Why?" and "How could God allow something like this to happen?". It was a difficult thing to see them hurting and to realize the hurt and pain this young man's family was going through. We tried to impress upon the kids how important it is to live your life as if it were the last. Also, how God didn't cause this wreck to happen. And if we allow it, that something amazing can come of this terrible thing. No, that won't replace Aaron and the friendship that he gave, but it can help you heal and help keep his memory alive. Who knows what God will create out of such loss? I certainly do not, but I do know that God will provide the comfort we need in times like this.

One of my favorite passages: Proverb 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.


Until next time.....

Feelings of Thankfulness

Today I realized how grateful I am to God for giving me the life that he did. For some reason I started thinking about how lucky and fortunate I am where I'm at. I've always been very thankful to God, but it hit me extra hard today (not sure exactly why). I have not had to easiest life, just like a million others out there. I've dealt with my share of hardships...some brought on myself and others out of my control. But it overwhelmed me today and I started praying and giving thanks to God for always being there for me even when I was not willing to walk with Him. I realized how fortunate I was to have the past that I do and be here today with a family who loves me, a church who changed my life and friends like I've never had before!

What grace I have been given!! Thank you, God!

No Husbands, No Kids...No Sleep

What a weekend! It was so much fun to get together with my small group ladies for the weekend without any interruptions. We stayed at the Embassy Suites Park Central and had a great time! I had no idea I could go a weekend without sleep, though.

We started out meeting at the hotel and then Bennigan's for dinner. I finally got to try their monte cristo sandwiches....it was incredible (it was also 2 meals). Then back to the hotel for more food, talking and laughing. Three out of the five of us lasted until 3 a.m. then decided to call it a night. Up at 9:00 for free breakfast and then more discussions sitting under the gazebo while eating omelets and hashbrowns. Back to the room for showers, more talking and more eating. Then finally around 4:00, we decided to have lunch at Freebirds. It was very good, but I recommend not getting the quesadillas...they are too messy. The burritos are all nice and rolled up with tin foil around them that you can later make into a sculpture and put on the wall. Then off to the mall to do some shopping. More laughs and more talking and then a nice smoothie. Then we ended up at Toys R Us looking for a game to play. Something that would make us reveal more "stuff" about us (like we needed a game to do that). We found one and it was greatness! It was so much fun to laugh uncontrollably until there were tears and to just look at each other and crack up for no reason. But there was plenty of reasons to laugh at any given time. Once again it was a late night...I passed out about 5:00 a.m. and there was still a couple up talking! By the next morning free breakfast meant nothing to me, so sleep it was for just a little bit longer while some of the others went down and ate omelets again. Now it's Sunday morning and time to pack up and say our goodbyes....NO, NOT YET. We still had stuff to talk about (if you can believe that) and there was still chocolate left to eat...just a few more hours?

All good things must come to an end, I suppose. It was great fun and I'm very fortunate that I have such a great group of friends. I'm also very fortunate that I have such a loving husband that doesn't mind and understands my need for my friends. Thanks, honey...couldn't have happened without your support!

Michele, Stacey, Carey, Jill and Shari....I love you guys and hope that we can always be so honest with each other and continue to have lots of laughs!!! Hey Stacey, I wound an itty bat!!!!

Until next time....

What to type...

As I sit here trying to think about what to blog, my mind wonders to so many different things. I think that is why I don't come to this site more often and put my thoughts down. I'm thinking "Where do I begin?....what do I type?....does anyone care?" But I love reading other blogs and random thoughts. I have them saved in my favorites and usually once a day I check them out and am disappointed if there are no new entries. I wish I knew more people with blog sites so I could check them out, too. Does that mean I'm a nosy person and have nothing better to do? Well, the first might certainly be true!

I guess I can start with another update since it's been so long. Things are going well from my surgery and I feel great!! Summer is in full swing and will be over before we know it. We still have our summer vacation coming up and I can't wait. The whole family (Justin's girlfriend included) is flying to NYC to visit Scott's family. We have so many fun things planned (check out Scott's blog and he'll give you blow by blow details) and they are all new things that we haven't done there before. I have to say thanks to Scott's aunt....she lives in NYC in a 2 bedroom house w/a basement and is letting all of us stay with her. Yes, it will be a little cramped and we will have to make a schedule for the bathroom, but I think it will be great. She is an awesome host and always spoils us when we come up! I'm sure Scott and I will have lots to post once we get back from there.

I have a small trip coming up this weekend with my WISDOM girlfriends. I only say small because we are staying at a hotel here in Dallas, but it is truly BIG to me! We had a great time last year and who would have thought we could go so long without eating!!! We were having so much fun talking without any interruptions that we talked until 4:00 in the afternoon and had not eaten anything except a few little munchies that we had in the room!! What a great group of friends....I look forward to whatever comes our way this weekend!

Other things going on....Justin is moving to Austin with his girlfriend in a month or so. Lots of emotions with that one. Dylan is trying a new sport in the fall, football. Marissa is still into her cheering and gymnastics. And last but not least, Cassie is having fun this summer playing with friends and going to F.R.O.G. camp at a local church. I'm really glad to be home again and be able to be more involved in their lives!

Well, that's it for me today. Until next time.....

Long Time No Post

It seems like it has been forever since I signed in and typed my random thoughts. So much as happened since the last post in March. Where to begin....

Well, to start with, I'm no longer working. I gave my 5 week notice (yes, 5 weeks) and now I'm a stay at home mom again. My last day of work was May 18. Unfortunately, not much as been done since then because on May 23, I had surgery (hysterectomy) and I've been recovering from that. My doctor actually recommended this over a year ago and I just was not ready for it for many reasons. Once we decided this was the right option for me, there were more fears and worries. I was nervous about the anesthesia. I've had surgeries in the past, but for some reason, I just had this weird fear that this time that I wasn't going to wake up. But as Scott pointed out, what better way to go? I was also nervous about the effects of not having a uterus or ovaries anymore and being on hormones. Some of that anxiety is gone, but I still have some fears around doing the hormones for the next several years. My doctor gave me a script when I left the hospital to start taking immediately, but they did not agree with me and so I had to stop taking them and when I go in for my 3 week post-op appointment next week, we'll discuss some different hormones to take. Other fears were how this would affect my emotions, would the PMS feelings that I had every month end, or has that just become a part of who I am now? Would this affect my relations with my husband? Would I be able to feel the same with him that I did before? Would I feel less of a women because I can no longer have another life growing inside me? I really didn't have that last fear going into the surgery, but had heard that some women didn't either and then afterwards they did feel any emptiness about it. Fortunately, that last fear has not been a problem. I have four beautiful children that I carried inside me and I am perfectly content with that!

I guess there are fears and worries with all surgeries and with so many different things in life. We talked about this some during group last night and it was nice to share and hear other fears/worries and how others deal with them. As we discussed things last night, I realized that the closer my walk with God is, the less I lie awake in bed at night worrying. Coincidence? I don't think so. I know for me, the more I am able to give over to Him the less of a burden it is on me. That doesn't mean I never worry, by any means. Or that I no longer have fears. But I no longer lie in bed for an hour or more trying to fall asleep because of all the "things" going on inside. Here are some good bullet points from our book we are reading in group "God is in the Small Stuff, and it all matters":

• WORRY IS A CHOICE
• THE BEST WAY TO STOP WORRYING IS TO START PRAYING
• PRAYER CHANGES THINGS; WORRY CHANGES NOTHING
• INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN'T DO, THINK ABOUT WHAT GOD CAN DO FOR YOU

That's just a few that stood out to me. Anyway, I'm back home, recovering well and ready to have a wonderful summer with my family, not worrying about things!!

Until next time....

In Need of Some Free Christian Counseling?

We made it back to church this weekend after being out for a couple of weeks and let me tell you how great it felt!! It was so awesome to be back and see everyone and listen to the awesome music and hear Keith's wonderful sermon. This is going to be another amazing series. It's about anger and so much of it just hit home when I was listening to his words and really made me think about my life. Scott and I haven't talked about it yet, but I know it affected both of us immensely. Keith just spoke so many truth's and it was like sitting in a counseling session almost. He has a way of doing that in a lot of his sermons, though. Really making you look at yourself and examining the way your doing it and what Jesus says about it and His way of doing it. I realize so much of the time that there is not an allignment there for myself and some pastors make you feel like it's almost impossible and very unatainable.....not Keith. He makes it seem so possible and so real and so reachable and I love that about him and our church. There is not one person there on staff that I would look at and say "Oh, I could never talk to them, they just wouldn't understand". Because they are all so REAL. And to me, that is what church should be about. I'm so thankful that we have Springcreek Community Church in our lives and our children are being exposed to what I think all churches should be....REAL. I have no idea who reads this blog, but if you deal with some anger issues (or you just want to check out how amazing the sermons are) please check out their website and you can listen to Keith yourself...all it takes is a little bit of your time.

Thanks to everyone at Springcreek.....you guys are always in our prayers!!

What an Awesome City - Now Back to Reality

We made it back from San Francisco and what a great weekend. Too short, but still great. I'm not much of a traveler and have not been to many places. So it really is incredible to experience something that is so different than Texas. And San Fran is definitely that! We had good weather Saturday (it was supposed to be rainy all day) and we walked and walked and walked the streets. We did a lot of driving too. We went over the Golden Gate Bridge and then drove into Salsalito....what a cool little town. Scott was so sweet, we went in shop after shop looking around. I know that is not his thing to do, but he did it anyway. What a guy! I think my favorite part of the weekend was dinner Saturday. We went somewhere that Scott's boss recommended, The Northern Beach Restaurant. It was Italian and wonderful. I've had Italian in New York and in San Francisco and it is quite different from Texas. Probably more authentic. We had a great time, laughing until we we're crying (at my expense, but hey, it was pretty funny....something to do with taxi's). Maybe the glasses of wine had something to do with it, too.

I think I'm ready to experience some more of the world. I'm tired of letting my fears get in the way of things! That fear being "flying". But the older I get, the less anxious I am about it. So maybe I will end up in Paris or Italy one of these days after all.

Ciao - until next time!

Stressed spelled backwards...

You got it, MEXICAN FOOD!! Not what you expected, huh? Well, desserts are not my thing and when I feel stressed, I want good 'ol comfort food. So that is exactly what I'm having for lunch today. What a day it's been so far and it's not even lunch time yet. Our office manager is in Japan for the next 2 weeks and I'm working full time while she is out. Needless to say, I'm doing lots of stuff that I've never done before, like travel for our employees and contractors. You say not a big deal, but I beg to differ with you. It is a full time job alone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining....just trying to vent a little and then get back on course.

See that picture of the woman pulling her hair out? That is me, I had one of my co-workers take it a few minutes ago. Just kidding, that's really not me, but that is exactly what I feel like. Anyway, enough of the moaning and groaning. Who am I to complain, I'll be on a plane to San Fran in a little over 24 hours. So I'll just continue to think about that while I'm on the phone dealing with flights for other people and booking hotels.

The enchiladas are calling my name.....how sweet they sound, too!!

From San Francisco to Bonham, all in a week

This is where I will be Friday evening and I can't wait!! I have only been to California once and that was only for about 30 hours, so needless to say I didn't' see much of nothing. Scott and I will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary a month early in San Francisco. It's not Paris, but I don't mind at all!! I would prefer the shorter flight, anyway. Those of you who know me, know I do not like to fly.....AT ALL!! The weather is supposed to be cold and rainy, but I'll take it. I'm not afraid of a little weather, I'm from Texas!

You would think that after not blogging for so long, that the words would just flow to my fingertips....but not so. I think I'm having a hard time getting in the grove of it after not doing it for so long. I also think that so much stuff is going on, that I just don't know where to begin sometimes. My life is always busy and crazy and exciting and full and anything else you can think to put in there. With the kids being so involved in different activities and us being so involved in church, it's hard to slow down sometimes. I told Scott the other day that I don't know when I'm going to be able to breath in the next 2 weeks. Much less do laundry, dishes, clean house and all that other fun stuff. It's all good, but just non-stop. I mentioned our trip to San Fran....the weekend after that, we are trying to plan a camping trip with the kids for spring break. We went to lake Bonham last Nov. with some friends and had such a blast, so we are thinking about going there again. Plus my aunt and uncle live there and Scott wants to take his new shotgun and do some skeet shooting. They have an awesome place up there....100 acres with 2 ponds. They used to have cattle on it, but have since moved them to their other property of 60 acres, where my late grandfather lived for years and years. It really is beautiful there and every time someone from Scott's family comes to Texas, they have to visit my aunt and uncle's farm. Because they think that is how we all live down here. Most everyone in my family does, except for me. I'm a city girl raised in a country family, that's for sure. Just ask me about my cousin calf roping me when I was about 9 years old!!!

On that note, I'll get back to my busy, crazy, hectic, wonderful, full, non-breathing life!

Roses Smoses

Yes, it's been a long time since my last post. Not having a computer at home is killing the whole bloggin experience. Our computer crashed a very long time ago and I will not let Scott format the hard drive without at least attempting to get all of my kids precious pics from it (no they were not backed up). We could have had our computer fixed the day after crashing, most likely. But I just can't allow it. Thus, the hard drive sits in our amoire awaiting to be examined by a professional and my random thoughts will be few and far between, on the blogsite anyway!

Back to the title....I'm guessing there are a few ladies out there that feel the way I do about Valentines Day. It really is not a big deal to me. Yes, I enjoy getting flowers and yes, I definately enjoy going out to eat and yes, I love jewelry and romantic gifts. But it just seems too fabricated to do this on Valentines Day. I would much rather my hubby send flowers to me on just any ol' day of the year when I'm not expecting them. Or wisk me off to dinner unexpectedly. As far as the jewelry goes.....Scott has covered that pretty well with all the jewels he has given me when he travels out of the country. We had a very nice romantic Valentine's this year....he was at school until 10:00 and I was at home watching American Idol (favorite show) and playing with Cassie. I baked chocolate chip cookies and ate left over mexican food from Blue Goose (favorite restaurant). At least I was up when he got home from school. So we did spend some quality time together talking and eating cookies and just enjoying each other's company. Can't wait until next Valentines Day! Love ya, honey!

Until next time....and who knows when that will be.

Three in a row....

Well, day #3 and I'm still blogging. We'll see how long it last. I wish I had a computer at home that worked, so I could actually sit and type real thoughts. Instead, I'm sneaking in a minute here and there at work.

But here we go....some real (random) thoughts:

Why is marriage so difficult sometimes, shouldn't it be easy with the one you love?
Why is it so difficult to get myself and family to communion once a month?
What would life be like without mexican food? (3 weeks ago, I would have said Dr. Pepper)
Who would have ever dreamed that I would be drinking water instead of DP...not me!

Speaking of DP....my habit is really like smoking. When I get stressed.....want a DP, when I'm excited.....want a DP, when I'm depressed.....want a DP. You name it, whatever mood I'm in, whatever kind of day I'm having, I WANT A DR. PEPPER. How insane is that? Are they really that addictive? The other morning, I was so stressed out with my 4 year old, I stopped and got a DP and a package of ding dongs and you would have thought I was a drug addict with a needle in my arm. They imediate relief and and the instant feeling of calmness came rushing over me....it was a great day! That is the only slip up I've had in a little over 3 weeks, so I'm pretty proud of myself. Now we have to figure out the whole food addiction thing and I think that will be a little harder. Would love to lose 20 pounds before my high school reunion, but doesn't everyone want to do that?

Enough rambling for the day, until next time......

This could be really addictive

I called my 18 year old son yesterday and told him that I signed up on blogger.com. He told me I should sign up for myspace instead. That it was much cooler. So I checked it out today while trying to get some work done and it's pretty cool if your a teen or if your single, but I signed up anyway. Reason being, that I found my 18 year old's myspace and couldn't send him anything w/out signing up and also found my nephews in NY and wanted to shock him and send him something as well. So I went from being totally out of touch to being pretty cool in a couple of days, if blogging and being on myspace makes you cool! I think it is going to take much more in my case, though. All that is left to do is add some pics of me and my wonderful family to both sites and I'm good to go......go where, I'm not really sure.

It is interesting to read other peoples thoughts....sometimes they are so random and sometimes they are really deep. Sometimes you just flat don't understand anything. But I love that I can go and listen to my son's music at any time.....he has them on his myspace and they are really good and I'm not just being mom. I love music and I love his music!

Until next time.....

I can't believe I have my own blog site

This is really silly for a almost 40 year to have a blog site....isn't it??? You tell me. I find myself reading others occasionally and it's really interesting. Like reading someone's diary, almost. But probably not quite so personal.

I really thought this would be great for my small group to start doing. We currently have journals that we share with each other. But this would be cool, as well. We could share our thoughts at any given time. My small group is WISDOM (women in search & discovery of more) and I just don't know where I would be today without each one of them. Thank you Carey, Shari, Michele and Stacey....I love you guys!!!!

Speaking of being old (back to my first sentence)....I received an email today about my 20th high school reunion this year. YIKES!!!!! 20 @*$&* years ago I graduated high school from South Garland. Doesn't seem possible. What have I done in 20 years......that is a loaded questions. I could write a book, let me tell ya! Career wise, I haven't done much of nothing and that is kind of sad to me. I still ask myself "What do I want to be when I grow up?" I don't have a flippin' clue. I think I better move on before I start getting depressed! :)

Well, I'm going to sign off and figure out how this whole blog thing works and let my WISDOM girls know about it and hopefully they will sign on, too.

Until next time......